by Tom O'Hare | Dec 21, 2023 | College Planning, College Readiness, In-School Persistence
The first semester of the new college school year is in the books. Finals are over, grades will be posted, and for many students they will learn how their transition to college life is progressing. It’s time for the Christmas break!
Christmas is a beautiful time. It is a time for family and friends to gather and celebrate the holiday spirit. For new first-year college students, the break is a vital time to relax, refuel, and re-energize. For many, this first significant break is a time to question their college path and whether they will be successful.
For parents, the Christmas break is their first time to be with their student for any extended time since move-in day. There are many questions to explore regarding a student’s new college experience. College academics, study demands, roommates, and social life are just a few pressing thoughts a parent has about their new college freshman.
Parents, too, are excited to see their students. As the dad myself (four), I have arrived on campus anxious to learn everything, only to be greeted by a month’s worth of laundry and an exhausted human being. Thoughts of talking to my daughter or son about classes, professors, clubs, and social activities on the ride home turned to silence as they slept, and I stressed!
Students returning home during this extended break bring a variety of emotions and excitement with them. Minds are full of accomplishments, good times, names of new friends, and thoughts about next semester.
Pause the Questions
Challenging courses, issues with fitting in, food selection, and other concerns can affect students. Even the slightest negative feeling of not being the best can create anxiety. Understanding how to approach the conversation is a challenge for any parent.
Parents instead need to restrain the impulse to press for details and turn on their good listening skills. Yes, the instinct is to inquire and even push for information. Your students react like they have entered the jury box and are about to go through an inquest.
Instead, resist the temptation, listen, take mental notes, and watch for behavioral changes. Celebrate the holiday. There will be time to open up the conversation. Students who are struggling want to talk; it’s just a matter of timing!
6 ways to avoid conflicts with your returning college student.– Psychology Today
After They Recharge
You will find that once a student has had a chance to recharge their battery with food and sleep and a few phone calls to catch up with their close high school friends, the signal will flash that it is time for the conversation. How you begin will be critical to the outcome. You may have covered the topics during Thanksgiving, but things may still be happening. Ask open-ended questions, not those that allow for a yes or no answer.
- What new professor or class are you finding interesting?
- Tell me about a new classmate that you have met.
- How is the food in the dining hall? How does it compare to my cooking?
- What interesting clubs have you checked out?
- What course gave you the hardest time?
- What has changed since Thanksgiving?
From their reactions, you should have a line on whether you should dig deeper. If the combination of your observations and conversation leads you to believe there might be some more concern, superficial or severe, then it’s time. If needed, plan a second time to talk and reassure them that whatever the turn of the page offers, they have 100% support and that things will be OK.
Returning To Campus
Students returning to campus typically bring clean laundry, snacks, and forgotten items from when they initially moved in. As they return, it is also important for students to understand that they have resources to help overcome obstacles BUT thy need to be their own personal advocate – Resources if needed:
- A visit to the Academic Support Center to seek out help with overcoming a drop-in grade, help with time management or writing skills.
- Resident Life to manage dorm room and roommate concerns**
- The Dining Hall Manager discuss dietary needs
- Visit Student Life and Student Affairs to search out Clubs, Organizations, and even a part-time job.
** Dorm Room concerns that may require a request for a room transfer or new roommate should be handles during the break!
Parents, your role is to tether the line a wee bit to allow your students to take the lead to empower themselves. However, if a concern requires your assistance, don’t wait. Coaching and guiding your students through an issue whiling monitoring a positive outcome is critical.
Finally, a lot of parents express concern about “never hearing from my student”. Before a student returns to campus work out a plan on when to connect. Reassure your student your not looking to invade their new level of maturity, but you want to hear how things are going. Whether texting or call figure our frequency and time. Peace of mind to all.
When May rolls along, and your student has returned after having a successful year, all you’ll need to ask is, where are you working this summer
Foot Note: The average withdrawal rate of 1st year students has risen by 8.1% to 28.1% nationally with over 43% of all students who start never finishings. Academic readiness, ability to pay college costs and social/emotional wellbeing of a student are the three most common reason why student leave. Keeping an open dialog, using resources and staying ahead of concerns can keep a student progressing to their end goal – a degree. .
by Tom O'Hare | Jun 29, 2019 | College Planning, In-School Persistence
Thoughts for Parents of College Bound and Soon to Be
Tuition Bills – if the college tuition bill has not hit the mailbox, it will be there before you know it. Bills generally go out in early July with payments due by August 1. Tuition bills cover tuition, fee, campus housing campus, and sampling culinary delights. Invoices must be resolved before a student has access to their dorm, classroom, or meals plan. Resources including private education loans, scholarships, home equity, and disbursements from investment accounts are all financing tools to use. Learn your resources and put your plans into action.
Protecting Your Student – you protect your students against the sun, protect them when they’re in college. Vaccinations, tuition insurance, and legal documentation are all critical to protecting college-bound students. Colleges and universities maintain specific Immunization requirements; however, the vast majority want proof of a Meningitis and two MMR vaccinations. A full panel of immunizations (chickenpox, Hep A, DTP, and HPV) is generally recommended but not required. If the need arises and you need to communicate on behalf of your college students, proper legal documentation must be in order. FERPA (Student Academic and Financial Records), HIPPA, Healthcare Proxy [Power of Attorney], Durable Power of Attorney and even a Living Will may be necessary to participate in the ongoing academic, personal and health care of your 18+ college student.
Anxiety before departing – college-bound students generally feel some sense of behavioral change leading up to the start of college. Best to keep a student focused on work, sports, friends, hobbies, and connecting with you, their parents. Harness your energy away from selling the college experience. They’re already in, but many students will continue to worry about the pending change. If you do talk about college, take a light subject, or how will you communicate. Will your college student feel comfortable texting, emailing, and making an occasional call? You may think you’re sending an adult to college but trust me they’ll want to connect. Moreover, yes, you need to keep in touch!!
2019 HS Grads – Still Thinking – if the search process was not for your student before but is now ready, colleges are looking for them. Full-time, part-time, applications are being accepted right now for the 2019-2020 academic year. Sure, your late but choices are still plentiful, many close by. 4-Year colleges, public and private and community colleges are working to finalize their 2019 Freshman class and yes, many have financial aid to award. They Need You!!
{Transfer students, you’re a hot commodity for all colleges and universities. Looking to restart, act now}
Rising Sophomore, Juniors, and Seniors – summer is a great time for exploring colleges, honing academics skills, participating in personal enrichment programs, and planning for the future. Campuses may be in their “off mode” but checking out the distance, taking a tour and meeting with school representatives can be helpful to open one’s eyes to college or when narrowing options. Calculating college cost, estimated contributions and determining family debt tolerance are MUST homework assignment for parents. Rising seniors should be working on their draft college essay and updating their high school resume.
Parents of Little Ones – Saving is the KING. Saving for college opens possibilities and options for students. Saving for college during a student’s early years pays dividends when they approach the college years. Saving for college is buying power when it comes to college options. It places less worry on financial aid eligibility. $1.00 a day, $20 a week, $500 a month, or whatever one can save, it ALL matters! Don’t wait!! We are fortunate to have many outstanding bankers and financial advisers within the RT-One BNG Family. If you need an introduction, my list is available.
Recent College Graduates – not to be forgotten. Recent grads are looking to land their first job or using GPS to get to their new workplace. Life after college brings many adjustments, including the need to modify one’s monthly budget to accommodate a student loan payment or two. Managing education loan debt (federal and/or private) arrives in the form of loan payment due six months after graduations. Graduates have time to consider their repayment responsibilities, establish a workable monthly payment, or seek alternative programs to help with student loan repayment. Don’t Wait!!
by Tom O'Hare | Dec 3, 2018 | College Admissions, Financial Aid, In-School Persistence
The joy of the holiday season is upon us all. Excitement and anticipation of the holiday season and the arrival of a new year, makes December a wonderful time. This holds true for high school seniors/parents and current college students. Making Santa’s “good list” for college admission decisions and awaiting the arrival of a “gift” in the form of an Acceptance Notification, can make the holiday’s a stressful time. The holiday break is also a time when college students return from campus, many for the first time since departing home. Parents await the arrival in hopes of good tidings (grades) and a joy for a great first semester.
As we put word to paper, Admissions Departments at college and universities throughout New England and across the US are busy at work. They are gearing up for the fluid of Admissions Applications from high school seniors seeking to join their institutions. Some have already arrived through Early Action but e-mailboxes will be overflowing soon. Like Santa reading his list, college counselors will be burning the midnight oil to read “files” (mostly electronic), interrupt interview conversations and evaluate student profiles in hope of a match. Their work culminates with the delivery of the all-important communication, You Have Been Accepted!! Welcome to the Class of 2023.
Have You Filed the FAFSA?
In the November issue of the Route One Magazine, filing the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) we wrote about and its importance to the college planning process. The FAFSA is the primary catalyst for determining one’s eligibility for need-based financial aid. If not already submitted, time is now. Whether a student is considering a community college, 4-year public or private or a trade or professional school, the FAFSA is key to learning about financial aid and the question of affordability. If a student is considering enrolling in September of 2019, the FAFSA should be on the holiday list. Getting accepted might be is #1, but knowing if you can pay decides where one goes.
My 1st Semester Was a Blast

But what about your grades, asked Mom and Dad? For sure, the holiday break is a time when new college Freshman are quiz on how well they are doing, academically and personally. Discussions surrounding first semester grades, social interaction and one’s overall well-being are very common during the holiday break. As a parent of four and having navigated the “how are you doing” conversation more than once, parents need to be cautions when probing and sensitive to their process of trying to uncover the unknown. Yes, it is extremely vital to know how the new college student is doing, especially if assistance is needed, however, cracking the shell of a new independent students may require time and patients. Use different times during the break to create a conversation and watch body language as much as verbal communication to get a sense as to how things are going. In the end, everyone will celebrate to learn everything is fine.
Juniors Are Waiting Too
Not to be left out of the celebration, rising Juniors (and parents) should use the holiday break to taking a pulse check on the college planning process. Working on building the college lists, prepping for ACT/SAT test dates and mapping out campus visits are just a few things to focus on during the break. Parents too should be using the time to sharpen their “financing college” pencil. Equal to making Santa’s “good list,” having the ability to cover the cost of enrollment makes for joyful outcomes. With the average cost of $30-$50K, Santa and his reindeers will not be delivering that kind of present next year. Rising Juniors and their parents should use the holiday break to talk about expectations. Those associated with attending and paying for college come September of 2020.
by Tom O'Hare | Nov 19, 2017 | In-School Persistence
The first semester of the new college school year will shortly be coming to an end. Midterms, fall sports and the first 90 days of the 2017-2018 academic year are about to hit the Turkey Day Break. For first year students (and even upperclassmen) many will learn for the first time how their transition (or continuation) to college life is progressing. It’s time for refueling and reconnecting. It is time for parents to “Check-In”!!
Thanksgiving is a wonderful time. A time for family and friends to gather and give thanks for their blessings and friendships. For new college freshman (and even upperclassmen) the break is an important time to relax, refuel and re-energize. But for many this first major break maybe a time to question their college path and sense of success.
For parents, the break is the first time to be with their student for any extended amount of time since move-in day. It is a time to explore the new college experience. Parents have questions on academics, study demands, roommates, social life and many more pressing thoughts about their new college freshman.
Conversations
Students returning home during this extended break bring a variety of emotions and excitement with them. Minds are full of
accomplishments, good times, names of new friends and thoughts about next semester. But for 20% of new college freshman (and some upperclassmen) struggle is the general stream of thought. Challenging courses, issues fitting in, food selection and other concerns make this break a time of anxiety and stress. Understanding how to approach the conversation with their parents and friends is a troubling stage in their lives.
Parents too are excited to see their student. They arrive on campus ready for the drive home and find a month’s worth of laundry and an exhausted human being. Thoughts of talking about classes, professors, clubs and social activities turns into a one-way conversation with many attempts greeted by a traveling partner who sleeps most of the way.
Parents instead need to restrain the impulse to press for details and turn on their good listening skills. It is best to observe, listen and watch the non-verbal messages to determine if in fact there might be concerns. Clearly, the natural instinct during the initial gathering period and during the early part of the break is to probe. Resist the temptation, listen, take mental notes and watch for behavioral changes. In doing so those students who want to talk but are not ready will respond more positively to a warm welcoming and country music. Students who are struggling want to talk, they just do not know how and when!
Back Home
You will find that once a student has had a chance to recharge their battery (food and sleep) and a few phone calls to catch up with their close high school friends, the signal will flash that it is time for the conversation. How and where you begin will be key to the outcome. Breakfast and midday are the best times. Open ended, “softball” questions, not those that allow for a yes or no will fuel the conversation.
- Want new professor or class are you finding interesting?
- Tell me about new classmates that you have meet?
- How is the food in the dining hall? How does it compare to my cooking?
- What interesting club have you checked out?
- What course gave you the hardest time?
- How different from high school is college?
Based on the reaction and responses you should have a line on whether or not you to dig deeper. If the combination of your observations (appearance, mode) and lead you to believe there might be some more concern, then and only then do you dig in deeper. If it appears that it may require more time to uncover whether there are deeper concerns, it will be important to have a plan to continue the conversation once the student returns to campus. Ultimately, this first “Check-In” is to establish a baseline to how things are progressing and if help is needed, you as their parent are there to provide 100% support.
Returning to Campus
Students returning to campus will be bring back their clean laundry, snacks and forgotten items from when they initially moved in. It is also important for students to understand as they return that they have resources to assist them to overcome obstacles that might be creating anxiety and stress. Resources that they should feel comfortable seeking out and utilizing.
- Grades: visiting the Academic Advising Center can provide upperclassmen tutoring
- Dorms: intervention starts with the Resident Hall staff
- Dietary: a chat with the Dining Hall Manager to discuss dietary needs
- Student Affairs: find the list of Clubs and Organizations to investigate; to join
Parents, it is also important that you establish a good plan for how you will communicate with your student as they return. Mix it up using texting, phone call and facetime. Continue to be a good listener watching silent signals and behavioral changes (positive included). Keep checking the pulse and providing ongoing guidance.
Next Up: Christmas Break
Learn more about our industry unique Campus-Check-In-Program
by Tom O'Hare | Dec 21, 2016 | In-School Persistence
CHECK IN TIME
The first semester of the new college school year is in the books. Finals are over, grades will be posted and for many students, they will learn how their transition to college life is progressing. It’s time for the Christmas break!
Christmas is a wonderful time. A time for family and friends to gather and celebrate the holiday spirit. For new college freshman, the break is an important time to relax, refuel and re-energize. But for as many this first major break is a time to question their college path and whether they will be successful.
For parents, the Christmas break is their first time to be with their student for any extended amount of time since move-in day. So many questions to explore regarding a student’s new college experience. College academics, study demands, roommates and social life are just a few of the pressing thoughts a parent has about their new college freshman.
Conversations
Students returning home during this extended break bring a variety of emotions and excitement with them. Minds are full of accomplishments, good time, names of new friends and thoughts about next semester. But for up wards to 20% of new college freshman (and some 2nd year students) struggle is the general stream of thought. Challenging courses, issues with fitting in, food selection and other concerns make this break to be a hard time. Understanding how to approach the conversation with their parents and friends is a troubling stage in their lives.
Parents too are excited to see their student. They arrive on campus ready for the drive home and find a month’s worth of laundry and an exhausted human being. Thoughts of talking about classes, professors, clubs and social activities turns to a mode changing ride home. Attempts to recover information are greeted by a traveling partner who sleeps most of the way.
Parents instead need to restrain the impulse to press for details and turn on their good listening skills. It is best to observe, listen and watch the non-verbal messages to determine if in fact there might be concerns. Clearly, the natural instinct during the initial gathering period and during the early part of the Christmas break is to probe for information and details on how the first semester is going. Resist the temptation, listen, take mental notes and watch for behavioral changes. In doing so for those students who want to talk but are not ready a positive, welcoming climate will allow for an open conversation. Students who are struggling want to talk, they just do not know how and when!
Back Home
You will find that once a student has had a chance to recharge their battery with food and sleep and a few phone calls to catch up with their close high school friends the signal will flash that it is time for the conversation. How you begin will be key to the outcome. Ask open ended questions, not those that allow for a yes or no answer.
- Want new professor or class are you finding interesting?
- Tell me about new classmate that you have meet?
- How is the food in the dining hall? How does it compare to my cooking?
- What interesting club have you checked out?
- What course gave you the hardest time?
Based on the reaction and responses to a few “softball” questions you should have the line on whether or not you {can and need} to dig deeper. If the combination of your observation and/or minor questions/conversation lead you to believe there might be some more serious concern, then and only then do you dig in deeper. If it appears that it may require more time to uncover whether there might be a concern, it will be important to have a plan to continue the conversation once the student returns to campus. Ultimately, the message to communicate to a student is that if there is a concern, you as their parent are there to provide 100% support.
Returning to Campus
Students returning to campus will be bring back their clean laundry, snacks and forgotten items from when they initially moved in. It is also important for students to understand as they return to their campus they have resources to empower then to overcome obstacles that might be holding them back or interrupting the launch of their college experience. Resources include:
- Visiting the academic and/or writing center to overcome a drop-in grades
- Conversation with the Resident Hall staff if a new roommate is needed
- Meeting with the Dining Hall Manager to discuss dietary needs
- Visit to the office for Clubs and Organizations to investigate one to join
Parents, it is also important that you establish a good plan for communication you’re your student. Remaining in touch, keep up periodic check in conversations is essential. The support a student feels as they return must continue as they return. Be a good listener and continue to watch for behavioral changes.
A student’s return to campus should be an exciting and fun. Stay connected and experience it together.
by Tom O'Hare | Aug 11, 2016 | In-School Persistence
Freshman Jitters; First Year Resources
Adjusting to a new experience, environment and group of individuals can give even the most confident individuals the jitters and butterflies, not to mention a new college freshman. For a new college student, the thought of being separated from the comfort of one’s home and family, being responsible for oneself, living with a fresh new face(s) and navigating uncharted waters can cause heighten anxieties and minor stresses.
Students need time to get into a routine, learn their syllabuses, attend their first sporting event, join a club and begin to experience life on a college campus. Once that happens, college turns from something new to the start of one of the most exciting time in a young adult’s life.
But for the small few, acclimating can take longer and be a struggle. College level academic demands, social interaction with new peers and the sense of being part of new community can be stressful. The thought of seeking out resources and help may also be a new experience for some students, not to mention the anxiety of calling home to unaware and excited parent or siblings.
Student who find themselves in this situation can easily become part of the 20%. A small, but extremely vulnerable group of students, generally new Freshman, who without the proper guidance and support could find themselves experiencing heart ache and regret. Prolonged struggles and delayed use of resources can in a student’s loss of interest and eventually separation from college.
Why we think as parents, educators and administrators that it is a normal thing to take a student out of a familiar surrounding (home) and place them in a strange place (college campus) and for it to work like a charm is beyond me. As the parent of four, eyes wide open to the world students, I thought, wow this is amazing. Get them in, give them a hug, palm their hand with money and get on the road home, everything will be wonderful. When in reality each student needs time to adjust and the continued engagement and support from home. Creating a two-way communication channel is an essential part of the transition of a new college Freshman and their overall college success. Knowing how and when to connect (texting, phone, email), what is fair game to talk about and the signals to listen for when a student is silently saying “I need help” is the key to helping a student through their first year. Parents and students should have an honest, open and non-judgmental conversation prior to drop off to set up how the two-way channel will workl!
Warning Signs
Students are generally not programmed to seek out help when they struggle or are in crisis. As parents and vital support, it is critical to be a strong listener for warning signs in a student’s behavior, health and well being. Shifts in one’s mood, communication, eating habits, satisfaction with academic performance, personal sense of importance can all be signs that something is up. Signs that may not be easy to initially detect but ones that might come through by listening to a student.
Being a good parent listener can promote questions and inquiries that will open a student up to deeper explanations as to what might be a concern. Whether it is a social relationship, grades, dietary, fitting in or being away, listening and gentle probing is step one to getting ahead of a problem. Of course if it appears to be an issue that is placing one in physical and/or deep emotion trauma, swift intervention maybe required.
Resources
College campus offer a wide range of resources to kick start a solution and resolve the situation before it grows into a bigger concern. Getting ahead of issues is critical. As a parent if you know your student is in need of assistance first encourage them to seek out help but if the concern persists, do not hesitate to become part of the solution.
- Academic Support – Learning Centers, Writing Centers, Faculty, Peer-to-Peer Tutoring are some of the common resources to ensure academic success,
- Academic Affairs – Advisers and staff are available to assist with monitoring degree requirements, course selection and ensuring that a student is on track to graduate within the required time frame.
- Student Life – residence life (dorms and dining), health services, spiritual ministry and counseling services are available to ensure a student has a strong quality of life while on campus.
- Career Services – the launching pad to internships & part-time work with business partners and resources to alumni to score the first job upon graduation.
- Public Safety – ride sharing, navigating the campus late at night, bullying, harassment and other personal safety needs.
- Student Services – the general location for questions related to financial aid, tuition bills, scholarships and other financial matters.
Being One’s Own Advocate
Students and parent should not shy away from investigating and utilizing the resources offered on a college campus. Taking the first step, at the onset of any and all issues and concerns will keep a student on the target to achieving their goal of receiving a college degree.
Campus Check-In Program
A feature offered through Get College Going is our Campus Check-In Program. Designed to assist student and parents weather the first year of college, we provide an independent third party communication channel when needed. We too will listen for clues and warning signs typically affecting a new college student. When and where needed, we will guide students to resources and help students to become their own problem solver! The program runs through the entire first year at strategic times in a student’s life. The Campus Check-In Program is a partnership program with both students and parents participating. Hence, an “opted in” understanding between the student and parent is key. As a supportive bridge, the Campus Check-In Program works to ensure the continued bond between a student and parent and the ongoing successful experience of attending one’s college of choice.